Looking back, I can see that that was actually a pretty sensible way that my brain coped with the stress of what I was experiencing: Pretending that the bad things were not that bad and easy to shake off, was the only way I knew to handle it.
Although I was hurt to my core by the nastiness, I had absolutely no way to deal with that, so I shut down. And, there were some breaks in the clouds: I went on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno; I ended up on red carpets; I got to meet and work with Katy Perry who, in the midst of so much hate directed at me was nice to me in a totally non-ironic way. I will never fully understand how I became one of the first people to experience online bullying in an extremely intense way.
But I do know now that what happened to me is truly just a global extension of something that goes on in every school, on every computer screen and in every neighborhood.
Today, really young kids are being targeted and it is starting earlier than it did for me. In my life, there were people I personally knew at school and in my inner circle who verbally abused me. But then there were also complete strangers from all around the world using social media to deride me, degrade me and even worse; some people threatened my life.
Rebecca said it hasn't been easy to shake off the abuse: "I saw everything. When I started reading those negative comments I just couldn't stop - I just kept going and going and going. Rebecca revealed she hadn't actually seen the video before it went live: "I saw it the minute it went on YouTube like everyone else. It's not like I thought the whole world was going to see it and pick it apart.
Rebecca's video racked up millions of views but the reception was mainly negative with hundreds of thousands of abusive comments - including a death threat which police investigated.
And doing that while everyone is just constantly ripping away at every piece of you, you are left with bones, you're left with nothing. In just one comment that illustrates the reaction of the web to Black's song, SFGate. It's so horrible, people are wondering whether the production is real or if it's an elaborate joke. In an interview with Good Morning America , Black said she cried when she first saw all of the nasty comments people had written about her.
And I shouldn't have done this, and this is all because of me. And now I don't feel that way," she said, adding she did not believe she had a bad voice. Black said the most hurtful comment she had read said: "I hope you cut yourself and I hope you get an eating disorder so you'll look pretty, and I hope you go cut and die.
Black's mother also appeared on GMA, saying she "probably could have killed a few people" who were writing nasty things about her daughter. The emerging pop star's woes look set to deepen as the online miscreants at the 4chan message board, which has spawned countless web pranks and the loose-knit hacking group Anonymous, have begun planning "Operation Black Friday". They have already published possible addresses for her, digging through her social networking profiles and arranging to target her school, Gawker reported.
The new music reflects a maturity that she sees in her audience, mostly peers who have gone through their own sexual awakenings, breakups, or have simply become adults with the experiences to match. To get reacquainted, Black talked to Vulture about all the influences on her upcoming album, and the new and old Rebecca Black, from Lesley Gore to John Hughes films.
This is my favorite song in the world. And Madonna, obviously, is one of the most iconic reinventors of herself, ever. So many of her songs are from my childhood. I love seeing people do that for the sake of the song rather than for the sake of making it listenable. Dylan Brady is one of those people who has a really distinct sound and I love it so, so much.
Same with all the other artists involved. There was this shamelessness in femininity that felt so much more for that woman herself, and for other women, rather than for the male gaze.
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